Introductory Post
Personal image, Carlie and me Personal image, Yat Fan and me Hello! My name is Bridget Clayton and I am a French major and Music minor at the University of Oklahoma. I am currently taking my last semester completely online, as I have already finished my French courses and gone through Capstone. I’m just finishing up some upper-division credits. I was originally a Music major because I love playing clarinet. Throughout high school, clarinet was the most important part of my life. However, I went through a lot of personal and familial issues during my first two years at OU, and I was struggling in some key music courses, like music theory. French had been my minor, but I realized that I was doing exceptionally well in my language classes, and as I did not want to teach music, I switched my major and minor. My last semester was a big success. I was taking four French courses, including Capstone, and was in one of the bands at OU, and I got my first 4.0. I also wo
Hi Bridget,
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I am really, really looking forward to reading your storybook! I think the idea of sticking to stories that are inspired by Yeats is brilliant, and will be a great help in creating a tight overall story with a precise and defined theme. In your introduction, you referenced your uncertainty about incorporating The Happy Townland and the biblical characters found in it. Based on my understanding of how you described it, my two cents is to not include it. I have two reasons for this - First, I think that the storybook would be better served by having fewer characters, rather than more. You don't want to introduce too many unknowns towards the end of the story. Also, I like the idea of sticking more closely to the specifically Irish myths/folktales. Second, I tend to not prefer tragic endings. It's your story, so you may like those, but happy endings and iffy ones that the reader can fill in with their own preference are the ones I most enjoy. However you end up going with it, I'm sure that it will be amazing, and I can't wait to read it!
Hey Bridget!
ReplyDeleteSo, I am assuming that you are going to change your introduction? I kind of thought that the intro was supposed to be the actual introduction to the story. Maybe I am mistaken, but I thought that the intro should more set the stage for the story that is about to be told. Anyways, I love the idea and think it could be done quite well, but I highly suggest you find a unique way of presenting the story to make it stand out. This is often done through the perspective that the story is told from. You seem to know a lot about the story, which is a really good start, so now I just suggest you make your intro a part of the rest of your story so that it will flow the reader into the experience you are bringing to them!
Best of luck to you!
Yes, I've put up a story introduction now. (I misunderstood the original assignment, oops!)
DeleteHello Bridget, I just finish reading the introduction to your storybook and first of all, I am in love with the color theme on your website. It really fit with the mythical tone of the story that you are about to tell us readers. I like that you introduce the author that inspires your story, however, your introduction is a bit like an author's note. I wish you can give the readers a little summary of your story instead of laying out the planning for your characters because that will spoil the story a bit already. Like the part about who the two lovers are going to meet and about the old men, I think these elements can be a surprise to your story! Nonetheless, I am looking forward to reading your story and the ideas that you have laid out is quite creative and make me anticipating to read the story even more!
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteGreat introduction! I am really excited to read all the stories that you add to your portfolio! The page design looks incredible and really drew me in from the start. The description you provided of the Irish poet in the beginning was inspiring to me. I hope the rest of the stories posted look this good! Perhaps a little more of a summary for the stories in your story book would give me a better idea of what your future stories will look like. But overall it looks good! I look forward to reading the stories that you add to your story book. Best of luck in your readings!
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ReplyDeleteHi Bridget! First off, I love the image on your homepage! It's beautiful!! It's great that your storybook is inspired by William Butler Yeats; that's really unique. From your introduction, I'm already pretty hooked and can't wait to read some of your stories. Reading about two people who die to go to the land of the dead to find love is interesting, especially for someone like me! I'm a huge romantic, and I can't wait to see the different tests you give them. It might be interesting if they both faced different men and women who tempt them, kind of like sirens. Looking forward to reading your project as it progresses. I also don't think including Biblical characters would detract from the overall story. I'm actually really interested to see how you incorporate them into your story. I like how you discuss with the audience what to do with the ending. I think it increases the suspense for the ending.
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI happened to read your original introduction last night and was going to comment on it this morning when I found that you had revised it! I really like what you've done with it. I think that making the introduction into a fictional story that frames the successive stories is a very effective way to draw your reader in and set the tone for your Storybook. This seems like a very unique story, and you've done a good job setting the scene and making me want to read more! I did enjoy the information about Yeats and your inspiration for the Storybook in the original introduction, but I think that this information could be effectively conveyed through author's notes at the end of each story. Perhaps you could expand on the last paragraph, maybe including Aillinn's response to the Master's words and her resolution to do whatever she'll do next. I think including these things could help transition to the rest of your stories. I'm excited to read what you write next, and I think you've set up a great story that will really engage the reader!
Hey Bridget. You were the first persons story board that popped up on the randomizer. After clicking the link I was immediately taken in by the great layout and look of the background. Wonderful picture. You may want to get rid of the side bar on the left hand side but I'm not sure if that's possible (I'm not to keep with how blogger works haha). I liked your use of the home page as well. Using it to lead into the introduction via a link in an engaging question was a great idea. I thought the introduction was well written and thought out as well. I think your characters could use a little more thought. Give them a little more "character" if you will. Add some dialogue or some more little things that make them who they are. Anyways I think you set yourself up for a great story board and can't wait to see what else you have in store.
ReplyDeleteHey there Bridget! Super cool to meet ya! Well I will say this, I do like the look and colors of your website! They are very warm and inviting, and I think they go along well with the image that you have for your first story. I can see that the website is still under construction (mine is moving along slowly too don't worry). If I could give any feedback on your website it would be this: for my own personal story, I decided to make my homepage kind of a resource for people to familiarize themselves with the type of story they are going to read, some of the main characters, and maybe some history on where those stories originated from. I know for me personally when I see a page like that on a website, it usually prepares me so much more for reading the story, and usually hooks me onto the story first. It can be difficult to just dive into stories with no background knowledge! Happy Writing :)
ReplyDeleteHey Bridget!
ReplyDeleteLove your choice of source material! Such a fascinating story that must be so fun to play with and retell.
I think the best thing you could do for your story is to inject it with more details and more dialogue so that we really care about these two! Maybe share a story from their childhood that sparked the move from friends to lovers. Maybe take the scenes where he is tricking them and make it a scene with dialogue. Does she give in right away or does she hesitate? What is she thinking when she dies of heartbreak? Something else you could do is rather than tell it from third person, choose one character and tell it from their perspective. While the story and writing are interesting, make us care about these people by giving them characteristics and thoughts and feelings.
You've done some great work, and happy writing!
Hello Bridget! First of all I really enjoyed your design of the page you created. I enjoyed how with the being about woods you picked such a warming picture of some trees. I felt the colors truly please the viewer. I also think that the way the page is set up in general is very simple which I like. The link at the top is simple for the viewer to casually move from introduction to stories. I liked your introduction as well because it left the reader wondering what could come next. I was wondering though how these people died so quickly due to heartbreak. I think that if you maybe added a little description to their deaths it could drag the reader in even more. I also think this would be a good case to use some dialogue to maybe make the reader relate to the characters and events more. Overall I really enjoyed it though and can’t wait to keep reading your stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Bridget, I really like what you are doing with your storybook! I really like how you are basing your stories off of Bates and in such a unique way at that. After reading your introduction I was hooked and really look forward to reading your storybook as it progresses. I like the idea of star-crossed lovers facing the underworld for each other. I think we can relate on hoping to find that kind of connection with someone. I also really like your use of pictures in the story to add context. As I was reading and came across “peewit” I was relieved to see my confusion was already met with a nice picture for context. Overall I think you did a great job, you should consider adding in some background information on you interest in this particular story and author. I would love to hear your insight and inspiration for your storybook.
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget! As soon as I clicked on the link to your story page I was amazed by how fascinating your page looks. The colors and the images that you used for story fit perfectly and kind of has a relaxed feeling while reading your story. I got hooked on your story after the introduction and I was impressed by your storytelling. Whenever the Master tricks the lovers I was a little surprised that they gave in so easy to the trick so maybe you could have them resist a little more or question. I hadn’t heard of Yeats’ so that would also be something you could maybe provide a little background on in your author’s note. I thought the Red Hanrahan character was brilliant and the poem was great. Other than that I really enjoyed your story and will definitely be back to see where you go from here!
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget! Your blog is great! The overall look of it makes you feel like you are in a forest with the light coming in through the leaves. I like that you keep the color scheme consistent throughout the blog and that you use multiple pictures. I mean I had no idea that a Peewit was a bird and just thought it was some weird mythical creature, so that picture was helpful. The mysteriousness of your intro made me want to read more and I was so glad that there was a story ready to go already! The writing style you use is great for this story. The use of a detached third person narrative was a really good call for this Storybook. The amount of description you use is amazing! I can actually visualize every little detail you mention and I feel like I'm actually there in the forest with these characters. Your first story was a good one to begin with and did a great job of filling the reader in on things without making it feel like that was it's purpose. Great job and can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHey Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI am in the other class (Indian Epics) and this week we got to look at some projects from Mythology and Folklore. I was really excited about this and I am glad I got to read your story. It is definitely different from the stories we have to write. Your introduction looked pretty good to me. I liked how you added more than one picture. I have always only added one but I think it is a good idea to add several. It really helps your readers to visualize as they are reading. The only thing I would say is that it may be helpful to make your pictures just a little bit bigger. They just seem a bit on the small side. I also enjoyed reading you story. You seem to be a great writer and you are definitely very creative. I hope that I get to read more of your work in the future.
Hi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI am really enjoying your storybook! It's one of the ones that I made a note to come back to, because I was so interested in your theme and how you would choose to approach it. It is definitely living up to my expectations! My favorite part, so far, is your characterization of Hanrahan the Red. I thought that you did a very good job with your description of him, and his dialogue. You really made the character come to life. Your author's note was great. You incorporated a lot of detail and background information. I think that your writing is lovely and it flows very well. Your pictures are great. You included several in your introduction. I wouldn't mind a few more within your first story to help illustrate it a bit. Your site is really nice, it's pretty yet simple. I think the simplicity helps to really focus on the story itself without too much distracting background. This is really good, and I can't wait to read the rest!
Hi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your storybook. I love Ireland so I really enjoyed your theme and think your have developed some incredible stories to go along with that theme. Your introduction did a great job of giving background into the characters and setting the stage for the future stories. I thought it was really interesting that the Master of Love appears to be really mischievous and almost malevolent towards the young lovers. I really liked your first story "Baile Meets Hanrahan the Red" and your second story "Aillinn Meet Queen Maeve". I like that you used the setting (the red sun and the woods) to give the readers a feel for how close the characters were in relation to one another and the timing of their journeys. Your character seem to be on somewhat parallel journeys which I think works really well as a storytelling device. Overall great job!
Hi Bridget! I really liked your overall format of your story. You did a great job with the dialogue and just overall detail of the stories. I really liked your second story and one of my favorite lines was "if your words can lead me to my lover, sir, I will forever be in your debt." I think that sort of alludes to the direction of your second story. I like how there are tow main characters that are the 'advice givers" to the other characters. Overall, I can really visualize your story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a good concept for a story book! It’s very “Romeo and Juliet” if there had been a third party responsible, and not just miscommunication! II was a little unclear in the introduction as to how/why they both woke up after dying, but then once I started reading the first story it got cleared up! I love that you found a poem from the person the character was based off of. That outside material really shows how invested you are in this story! And your second story was good too! I’m very interested to see what direction you take it in, with the candle and the queen and everything. I really like your idea about her beauty being stolen by magic. I’m looking forward to reading the rest of your stories and seeing where your characters go. I hope they end up back together in the end!
Bridget, I really like the layout of your website. It is easy to navigate and looks great. The images you used and the theme you applied come together nicely. Your introduction immediately hooked me because of how well written it is. I like how Aengus wanted to test the two lovers for the sole reason that they hadn’t experienced any hardships in their life. This made me think of a high school relationship where the couple hadn’t experienced the real world yet. I think one of the most memorable parts of the first story is how Baile realizes he isn’t breathing. This is a minute detail, but I appreciated the fact you cared to put that in. My main question for this story is why did they both have to die after hearing bad news about the other? What if you made it to where only one of them died and the story alternates from the real world and this fake world? I think this could be a really interesting twist on your story, but I still did enjoy your version of it.
ReplyDeleteHey Bridget! I really liked the image for your homepage. The text for each of your stories is off center. It seems to be shoved off to the right, and it kind of takes away from the aesthetic of your page. :( I love that you used lots of pictures for your introduction! This can really add to the look of your page and imagery for a story. Your intro set the scene well, but that very first sentence had me rereading it a couple times. It was hard to figure out what exactly it was saying. You might consider rewording it slightly. The first story did not disappoint. I like that your author’s note was very informative and detailed. In the second story, I noticed that the text changed font/size when Aillinn was put into the wagon. This one really reeled me in. When I got to the end of the story, I was scrolling down for more and frowned when I saw I’d reached the author’s note and not the next paragraph of story. You’ve obviously done a lot a research for this and it shows. Very nicely done! I’m excited to see where Aillinn and Baile end up.
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI immediately noticed the layout of your page. I think the theme and colors work well together. One thing that took away from the design was the links to the pages. It says home, introduction, then more and has a drop-down menu. That makes it a bit confusing when going through the stories chronologically. I love the images that you used throughout your stories. They capture your ideas perfectly. I wasn't familiar with your topic choice, but the author's note in each story helped me better understand greatly. The stories are coming together really well. Why did you choose to make both characters die? The dialogue used in your stories really brings your stories to life. I'm not familiar with Irish mythology and I like how you included different links in each of your author's notes to help the reader better understand some elements that you included. I can't wait to read the finished product!
Hi Bridget! I really enjoyed the theme of your storybook — the vibrant colors and clean layout are lovely and making reading easy. I also thought your story was really interesting and well done, since I've never read any Irish folk tales before!! One thing I noticed is that the introduction brings in a lot of names and characters very quickly. It might be helpful to spend more time introducing each character and developing them. Reading your stories, I noticed that you use a lot of vivid language and descriptions that help set the scene really well. I thought it was fascinating how you wove many different characters and pieces of folklore into your story really seamlessly. One thing I thought might be a useful addition would be to break the dialogue into its own paragraphs so it's set apart from the rest of the story. Otherwise, I love what you've done with this story and I'm really excited to see how you wrap it up!
ReplyDeleteHi Bridget,
ReplyDeleteYour intro does a great job of setting up the story and pulling the reader in immediately. I do wish we knew exactly why Master Aengus has it out for these two lovers. I feel like that could use a little more fleshing out.
I love the use of poetry, it fits in so perfectly with the rest of your story! I really like Hanrahan the Red's character as well. How can they tell how much time is passing if the sun never moves and they don't have watches or clocks? (just a random thing to think about) To avoid that, you could say "after what felt like hours of walking..."
The second part of your story is set up very well! Your setting is on point and Ooh! I love and hate ending on a cliff hanger! It's so well done! I can't wait to read more!!
Hey Bridget, I came to your storybook a week or so ago and I was thoroughly impressed. I love that you bring several pieces together into one. The dialect your characters employ is charming and makes your writing feel creative and professional. The picture of the fairy you included was beautiful. I like that you included several different characters with different temperaments and motives. I did wonder, though, why Master Aengus was the one Aillinn saw in her trance. Why would he be involved in Queen Maeve’s business? Do they have some sort of deal/relationship together? That might be an interesting idea- that the two evil characters are working together. I’m glad that you include the explanations of the poetry in the author’s note. I’ve never been good with poems and they’re hard for me to fully understand. You explained them and their relevance to your stories well. Thanks for sharing! Very nice job again.
ReplyDeleteHello Bridget!
ReplyDeleteThe background picture on the homepage of your project website is beautiful. Where did you find it? Your introduction grabbed my attention, but it took a few read throughs for me to fully understand what was going on. You may want to add an author’s note even though it is not required. I would help your reader understand the story with more context. In your story “HANRAHAN THE RED” you may want to mention why Baile is walking earlier. It seemed a bit odd when you said he was looking for another human later in the first paragraph. I love how you break into poetry in this story as well. That is one of my favorite things that a story can do. I liked how you incorporated music into your project and your story “Aillin’s Escape”. Overall you have done a really good job tying everything together. It is difficult to write a new story for your project and you have done it very well.
Hi Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI love your stories! I’d read the first two a few weeks ago, so I wanted to check back in to see what you added! Since I already read your first two stories, I’ll focus on the third one for this comment. Again, I love that you add poems in at the end of your stories. It shows a lot of work on your part! I think this story was great! I love that you use authentic dialogue, how it would sound with their accents! I would love to hear a little about how Queen Maeve reacted when she realized Aillinn and the maid were gone. Or why the maid chose to save Ailinn and was willing to run away for her! Just a suggestion if you are looking to expand the story! Overall, you did a great job and I’m looking forward to seeing how you wrap this story up!
Hello Bridget!
ReplyDeleteYou are a marvelous story teller! I liked the poem that you had Hanrahan speak. You did a good job picking that out. I like how you focus on one character at a time in the stories. The Master is not a very nice character, playing tricks and testing people for his own entertainment. I like how at the end of the story, the maid was given a place to live. One thing I am a little confused about is if the Master was testing them when they came in contact with Hanrahan and Maeve. Those seemed more like things that happened to them than tests. Overall, a wonderful story.
Hey Bridget! I’ve been to your page several times, because your stories are so creative and incredibly well written. I love that you included music clips at the start of your two final stories. I found the first clip to be kind of eerie and odd. I think it was a perfect fit for your story since Baile and, perhaps even more so, Aillinn have been in an eerily odd place. I hope you know that every time I’ve written a comment for your project, Word’s autocorrect has given me hell for those names. I do like them though. They’re very strange and pretty, perfect for the setting of your stories. For the second clip, I listened to it as I read your final story, and it was perfectly timed. It finished exactly as I started your author’s note. It was a very nice touch. I did not expect the little leprechaun to be Aengus, but I thought it was a great twist! I also thought it was cool that Aengus calls them “love birds” and in the end, that’s what they become. Such a great job with this project! Best of luck to you with finals :)
ReplyDeleteHi again Bridget!
ReplyDeleteI loved the song at the beginning of the last story! I thought it was such a nice touch! I was really excited to read your final story and you did not disappoint! I think you wrapped it all up very nicely! I would have maybe liked a little more deliberation when they were deciding their fate, but I appreciate why you had them make the decision so quickly. I would have also liked to read more about why Aengus gave them these two option. It seemed like his whole purpose was to keep them apart, so why did he have a change of heart and allow them to be together? Those were just a few questions that came up while I was reading! You did such a great job with this storybook! I really enjoyed reading it throughout the semester and seeing where you took it!
Hey there Bridget,
ReplyDeleteI hadn't found your storybook until today, and I'm honestly glad that I didn't read it until it was finished. I've read some Irish myths and legends before, and I think you managed to capture that style and temperament really well. Their stories rarely have traditional happy endings, and bad things will often happen to good people (I think the Irish tend to be a bit cynical) which is exactly what happened here. I normally hate those types of stories, but I like this one, probably because there was a reason for why these horrible things happened to Baile and Aillinn. I was honestly a little sad that the two did have to live as swans for the rest of eternity, but at least it was what they chose and they got to be together. Talk about making the best of a bad situation. Even if I don't love the ending, I still think you created a really well crafted storybook. Good luck on finals!
Hey Bridget,
ReplyDeleteFirst off I think your presentation on your project is beautiful and bright. I was instantly hooked just by the looks of it. Then when I read your description and how it was about the underworld I was confused but also really enjoyed the diversity and contrast of the page and the content. Your writing is very well done and you really grabbed the reader and kept them interested the whole time. I do wish there would have been a little bit more about their life prior to dying, simply because I feel like the readers then could know them even more. The more we know about hem the more invested we get in their life and story. Overall you did a great job and should keep writing even after this class is finished. Good luck on finishing up your finals and this class as well. Have a merry Christmas!